any sincere student of The Work already realizes, relationships
are the medium in which our mechanical/egotistical psychology reacts.
Any student of The Work should also realize that relationships occur
along a continuum of veritable psycho/spiritual possibilities.
Sojourner Pass Press 2000
of The Work utilize their various relationships as mediums for self-observations
as well as mediums for present/future work upon themselves. The
Work, as a spiritual discipline, has as one of It’s primary aims,
to awaken a student to the infinite levels of possibilities that
lie latent within. Once the process of awakening begins, the student
first learns how to self-observe and then how to ‘digest’ various
incoming impressions. After the student is able to both self-observe
as well as consciously process incoming impressions, sacrifice and
the role sacrifice plays within all spiritual development begins.
of the most fundamental forms of sacrifice relates to the fact that
one must consciously sacrifice ‘the lower’ to engender the ‘higher’.
The ensuing ability to create the requisite vacuum, within, is frequently
attained by consciously developing/adapting to the old spiritual
adage "sacrifice, sacrifice until you get what you want".
the beginning, the only thing that an incoming student can sacrifice
is their imagination, illusions, delusions as well as their own
corporate levels of naiveté. Nowhere is the role of imagination,
illusions, delusions and ignorance more apparent than in our everyday
‘appear’ to be in a variety of mutually satisfying relationships.
Both men and women assume that they know themselves as well as they
‘know’ their partners. Parents and children appear to ‘love and
respect’ each other. Schools ‘appear’ to be educating; medical facilities
‘appear’ to be healing and serving the majority of their patients,
etc. Life itself appears to be much like an advent calendar wherein
the outer appearance hides many inner realities. Much of what ‘appears’
to be healthy mutually beneficial relationship is in fact nothing
but mutual illusions about the nature of Real Objective World.
example, let us investigate a little further into the role illusion
plays within mutual relationships. Let us take an average couple
who has ‘been together’ for, let’s say, a dozen years. After a dozen
years, most people would assume that they know the truth about each
other: therefore, if this couple were asked if they could trust
each other, they would most probably respond by saying yes.
Work would state that these sad souls confuse knowing in part versus
knowing the whole. From a Fourth Way point of view, these average
souls are sound asleep confusing proximity with relatedness. The
Work would further state that these hapless souls do not have a
clue as to the role ignorance coupled with vain imagination plays
within their so-called lives. We can all imagine ourselves believing
that our partner loves and respects us as they say they do. This
is especially true for those couples who have enjoyed a long period
of mutual fidelity.
imagine, if you will, what would happen if either one of the pair
found themselves exposed to a new infinitely better possibility?
How many people have been offered a better opportunity yet turned
it down to remain where they are? In other words, are we faithful
because we have incorporated the principle of fidelity or are we
faithful because nothing better has come along?
nature is programmed to seek out the best bang for the least buck.
It is only when individuals have found another place to stand and
have turned, that new found option down that anyone could assume
that their partner would chose them over someone else. Therefore,
much of what appears to be mutual, interpersonal loyalty is related
more to lack of opportunity than towards anything else.
consider the role of mutual dependence in what appears to be a healthy
love-filled life. When a youngster obeys his/her parents, within
the animal kingdom, we call it learning how to relate to adults
of its own kind. We can see that Mother Nature instills in all ‘wee’
ones obedience towards its parents; yet in human beings, we call
that selfsame behavior…love.
few people are able leave the known for the unknown. More often
than not; in order for one person to leave a relationship that they
are already in, they will have to secure another place to stand
first. Take college-bound students. Up until they leave for
college, they have identified with their family of origin; but once
these college-bound students form their own friendships and create
their own goals, what role do to the parents’ play? Under that circumstance,
parents become little more than launching pads. Once the child leaves
the nest and is able to find another place to stand, they usually
leave home for good.
there any form of job security? Not unless you are at the top and
even then you could still be exposed to a hostile takeover. Therefore,
as employees, we can be sure that if our employer does well, and,
if we do our jobs well, and, if no one else can do our jobs better
than we can, especially for less money, we can keep our jobs. Maintaining
employment is under the same laws as interpersonal relationships.
Everything is, as it appears unless/until something better comes
all of the above were not depressing enough, humans tend to forget
the role ego plays within their everyday lives. Our egos live along
a continuum of how do I look? And where do I stand among these others?
Again we look down at animals when they feign and posture as they
return to their group.
the Real Objective Truth is that deep within our own psycho/spiritual
nature, we also retain pack consciousness. All of our interpersonal
relationships are based upon competition as well as a constant jockeying
for position. These ‘pack’ qualities go on internally by law.
as nature utilizes survival of the fittest within the physical realm,
survival of the fittest shows up in our interpersonal, internal,
psycho/spiritual realms as well. For instance, abusers always project
blame onto their victims. All abusers blame their victims for their
own abuse. It is only when the abuser can accept responsibility
towards their own behavior that the abuser has any chance to start
the abused must become responsible for their own passivity as well
as for finding another place for themselves to stand. Unless and
until the abused victim can sacrifice where they are standing now,
they will remain unable to find any other place to stand. If all
of the above were not totally depressing enough, there remains another
even more subtle form of psycho/spiritual laws as they relate to
being in relationships.
is the man with no soul
is the man with a soul
to the man who has a soul in the making.
a Work point of view, all human beings are in a psycho/spiritual
state of waking sleep. What humanity calls full consciousness, The
Work calls being asleep or on automatic (habits in all centers).
When both partners in a relationship are psycho/spiritually asleep;
neither partner sees, feels or accurately processes the events that
surround them. Therefore, each individual remains both blind towards
himself as well as remaining psycho/spiritually invisible to their
partner. When you are asleep, you are not able to see the truths
staring you in the face. To be asleep means to be on automatic.
To be asleep means you are only able to see the mote in your partner’s
eye while, concomitantly, you remain blind toward the beam in your
own. Two sleeping people inevitably rationalize their own behavior.
Sleeping people project what they do not recognize in themselves
outward onto other people. When both partners are asleep, neither
one knows what they are doing nor what is going on between them.
God help the individuals who begin to awaken from their blindness
and former deafness. Once an individual begins to wake up all of
the former illusions, delusions, imaginations coupled with endless
forms of ignorance begin to fade away. As you begin to wake up,
you find yourself absolutely alone within a sea of sleeping people.
Problem is these sleeping individuals are dreaming that they, too,
are awake. You can imagine the frustration to be had, unless and
until, you can see these various aspects of sleep within your own
a result, the individual who is in the process of waking up does
not live within the same psycho/spiritual realities as other individuals
within their own lives. Since there is nothing that can be done
to wake up ‘other people’, the only option for The Work student
is to do the aims and practices of The Work Itself. Only two people,
who are already awake, individually, can combine to form a healthy
relationship. If you are not awake, you are living a dream, albeit
a most pleasant one.
true horror of living, in imagination, is that imagination satisfies
every center. Imagination feeds/fuels all the endless forms of illusion
and delusion that we pass off as rational thought. The sad fact
remains that as long as people are happy as they are, they will
not seek another solution.
even being awake can have its drawbacks. Since 99.99% of all relationships
are mechanical, very few people have ever developed any expertise
with dealing with other people who are also awake. It is hard to
drop one’s defenses and just stand grounded within your own ignorance
and nothingness. You would think that we humans would long for intimacy.
Perhaps we do, in imagination. True intimacy requires a tremendous
development in everyone’s level of being.
would the point be in realizing that what passes for faithful relationships
is usually just a result of lack of a better option?
is the point of realizing for yourself that you remain under the
laws of Great Nature and that what you have called love is merely
enlightened self-interest? One answer would be that if you know
the psycho/spiritual laws that govern your inner nature, you could,
in time, use these laws towards your own advantage.
people do not have what it takes to wake up. Living in the Real
World can be terrifying. Only those sincere Work students who remain
committed to separating the course from the fine, even as it applies
to being in relationships, ever develop the possibility of handling
the truth about the Real World.
ability to sacrifice the lower in order to engender the higher is
only for Work students who have already learned how to use life
as their teacher. Once The Work student learns how to self-observe
as well as to digest the principles that are contained in being
in relationship, they become able to see these ancient processes
at work deep within themselves.